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Americans in Aisle 8

Both the girls are taking a morning nap, which in my experience means that someone is about to be sick. Rosie hardly ever naps in the morning unless she is coming down with something. 

We are still in lockdown over here which has a lot of restrictions and infographics to go along with it. The big takeaway is that we are allowed to grocery shop and go on hikes. So, that’s what we have been doing. And get haircuts on Post (I’ll pass). They also recommend binge watching Netflix. The graphic advises us to be prepared to stay at home for long periods of time.

Tim and I walk around the local grocery stores like tourists in New York City -- pointing out bundles of fish, dried squid snacks, and foreign fruits. We pull out our Google Translate and point at signs that translate to phases like “Apples on sale”. We are without a doubt… Americans. The grocery store we ventured to this weekend was like a Target mixed with an old Sears, complete with a giant Hush Puppy stuffed dog. We snagged some great finds, a mini kegerator, Korean house sandals, and at-home spa foot masks. Because what else are we going to do? To our horror we didn’t bring our karaoke machine with us to Korea…would have been an excellent pairing with our new kegerator. 

We heard there was a good family trail nearby and we loaded up the big stroller and the girls to check it out. Upon arrival we realized this is no trail…just a steep hike. I carried Olive and Tim carried Rosie. I can safely say, I have never sweat so much in my life. Not the ideal time to switch to natural deodorant. It felt like walking into a vat of molasses. 

We have picked up take out food a few times. We can’t order over the phone because we need our hands to act out a charade of motions to explain we want to order (non spicy chicken for our toddler). So, we go in person and I pick up Rosie and make gestures about ordering chicken…no bones please. We point at photos in the menu book designed for English speakers and walk away with an obscene amount of fried chicken. All the meals come with pickled radish. It’s an acquired taste. 

Our junk drawer is filling up with Korean sauce packets and chop sticks. And since I resemble more of a T-rex eating with chop sticks, here are a few other uses for them: 

1. Scraping gum of your shoes - that’s the third time this year 

2. Checking to see if your brownies are done yet - they are not 

3. Getting your hair out of the drain - but let’s be honest I never do this 

4. Drumsticks for your toddler and her tiny pots and pans 

5. Filling up the inevitable junk drawer 

Let’s all say a prayer that a vaccine for COVID19 is developed very soon. Otherwise you are going to be reading the next edition of Fodors Guide to Korean Grocery stores: Americans in Aisle Eight.

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